Bemused Embrace of Nihilism

Blue Friday January 28, 2011

When I first heard the term “Black Friday”, I was, of course, delighted

Assuming the term black would embody its usual negative connotation, I dreamed of a Friday for the rest of us. The forlorn, dystopian, disdainful, morose, gothic underbelly of consumerism lost that is the United States of Amerigo Vespucci. Imagine my dismay when I realized it instead had everything to do with hanging out at Wallmart and 5AM in the morning.

Believe it or not, I was talked into the universal slap in the face of decency and the antithesis of quality (Zen and the art of Motorcyle Maintenance notwithstanding) that is the mart of walls, at what can only be defined as an undogly hour (I’m experimenting with dyslexia)……Ok, talked into it is a pretty loose description. My then pregnant wife asked me and I reflexively said yes, without listening. I gave up free will about the same time that random juvenile delinquent freed Willy.

So there I was, in a place I hate, with people I hate (didn’t know them, but there’s a good chance I hate them) attempting to buy crap I don’t need. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is? Ok, clearly if your reading my blog its obvious I don’t know what love is, but that’s beside the point.

Oh, notice I said “attempting” to buy. Apparently those on the “inside” of the inner workings of greeterville knew that you really had to start lining up at Midnight, take a number at 2 AM, and then were actually able to buy stuff at 5 – which of course, I didn’t do. There are few things in this world I am more proud of than the fact that I was not a in the know about the Walmart rituals. Wouldn’t want to see a group picture of those people.

Ok, enough anti-holiday drivel. The real reason for this blog is to reclaim Friday, or maybe rebrand it. Look, Friday…….sucks and you know it.

All sorts of work crap gets thrown at you on Friday because people have been procrastinating all week and all of a sudden realized stuff had to get done by the end of the week requiring insta fire drill.  For some reason, it usually rains, snows, or sleets (its a blog, I can make up words), the only sports available are High School sports, which I could watch but that of course would send me down a journey of recollection of disappointment and dispair (ah, High School, its hard to imagine one person could generate that volume of public humiliation in a mere 3 years).

And finally the ultimate sadness – working too long forces you to eat at the only place without a 45 minute wait……which is of course TGI Fridays. Suffice it to say, I don’t TGI Friday, and hate talking about my flair!

Friday isn’t good. Friday isn’t black. And no, I wont thank dog its Friday (might thank Nietzsche, but that’s a different post).

Friday is disappointing, acerbic, frustrating……and BLUE.

But, then again, its better than Wallmart at 5AM.