Birth, School, Work, Death October 9, 2009
Posted by troyjen in Uncategorized.Tags: Bukowski, humor, humorously_sad, random_meaningless_tags, sadly_humorous, sadness, scotch
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During the caffeinated, Sponge Bob infused, hurricane of activity I often refer to as “morning” my precious son stumbled onto an inevitable truism that is both sad and profound. For the first time, he looked up at me with that innocent face (he usually has more of a devious look, but had the cute meter going at full throttle today) and muttered the powerful yet obvious statement:
“Daddy, I don’t want to go to school”.
Swirling my single malt (somebody finally got it that, for a wanna be alcoholic, scotch would be a good gift), puffing smoke rings from my metaphorical cigar (even a moral relativist like myself wont smoke in front of a five year old), rubbing my Charles Bukowski stubble, I looked down on him from my sad world weary eyes, tipped my fedora and said:
“Kid, get used to it. You’re five and a half. The days of fun and leisure are over……its all downhill from here.”
Hey, he was going to find out sooner or later……In school at 3, listening to some overbearing, moderately intelligent caregiver read idiotic anecdotes about some bizarre mutant creature named Elmo, to elementary which now thanks to “no childhood left” is essentially 6 years of standardized testing, to Junior High, 3 years of attempting to avoid public humiliation, to High School and avoiding fights over……something (in my days it was the rocker/waver wars…..don’t ask, it doesn’t make sense).
After that, its college binge drinking and class avoidance, and pretending to be radical…..all while maintaining an above the equator GPA. Then, the real indentured servitude begins working for Da Man, pretending to find satori in a GANT chart, waking up in a hot sweat in the middle of the night because you have come to the startling realization that you might not actually be an INTJ.
And then you die……usually about 6 months prior to retirement.
I mean, what’s the point? Why continue to perpetuate this hoax of meaning and relevance? Why not just embrace the fact that life is over before it begins. There is no hope, there is no joy.
Did I mention I turned 40 this year? That’s 40 years really really really old.
Glad to have got that off my chest!
Some profound wisdom here. If I find some time I will slit my wrists with a rubber band.
@Denilson – my goal was to be uplifting through comparison i.e. “I thought I had a negative outlook until I read this post.”
The effect was more of “Wow, I never thought of it this way, he is absolutely right, where are those rubber bands?”
BTW, my older kids are 4 and half (twins) . I can’t wait to have that talk with them one year from now.
[...] This is just blatant funny and I am impatiently waiting for his new posts. [...]