Dancin with Wags the [redacted] Dog June 25, 2009
Posted by troyjen in humor.Tags: children, greg, humor, music, wiggles
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Toot toot, pounding Jager, big red *CRASH*!
A couple of years ago, Greg the Wiggle, known for his yellow couture and unibrow, retired from Da Wiggles because of exhaustion (the faux illness of choice). His yellow moniker passed on to a less talented protege, known as the day the annoying music died.
Ok, I wasn’t the biggest fan of those wacky Australians. The idea that grown men would have to act like imbeciles for money would seem the height of absurdity in anyplace outside of say Provo Utah (that valley is so happy). But, to be fair, in comparison to traditional toddler music (I’m a little teapot et al) the Wiggles is Led Zeppelin.
However, recent news of the REAL (not sure if its true, but that’s beside the point) reason for Greg’s premature departure, makes me want to wiggle.
Recently it has been brought to my attention (heard it on Baby Center – the internets never lie) that the whole “exhaustion” claim was really a ruse. Instead Mr. Yellow was prone to alcohol indulgence and occasional on stage profanity (would pay good money for that video) and thus could Wiggle no more.
Let me tell ya Greg, after spending the week hangin with a rodent hooked on prozac (also known as Mickey Mouse) I feel your pain.
In Mickey land, I have to make nice with this almost certainly unemployable actor who, in the sweltering muck that is Summer in Florida, is wearing a 40 pound “character” outfit. When Mr mouse freak hugs my son – I am apparently supposed to think this is “magical”?
Then there’s this “street parade” populated with actors of similar ability, and choreography rivaling a SuperBowl half time show. Oh, and they looked shocked when I don’t want to join them for some rumba type dance?
Disney fever is a hard drink to swallow……but I discovered it does go down a lot more smoothly with a glass of Courvoisier.
And thus the question of the day – does entertaining children inevitably result in alcoholism (the profanity is a given)?
I mean lets revisit the Wigglers. Jeff is either narcoleptic or has taken Hypoglycemia to a bad place. Anthony has serious issues with consumption and is likely bulemic. Murray, well…..has to endure an entire life being known as “Murray”.
Greg’s drinkin and cussin – and likely a millionaire. I think he wins!
Say what you want, fruit salad is “yummy, yummy”, and what’s with that feather sword anyway?
@go-joe – Good point on the feather sword. Pirates can swashbuckle a little, but should never be friendly.
I don’t know if Australian children’s “supergroup” “Hi-5″ have ever made it big in your part of the world, but down here, just a single song can send me into a murderous rage.
The Wiggles are far more benign – although occasionally Dorothy The Dinosaur’s voice can push me over the edge (what the hell do they take at those “dance parties” of hers?) and Captain Feathersword is – to put it simply – an annoying tosser, as we say in the local vernacular.
Thanks for the funny post.
I have heard of, but was somehow able to avoid the Hi Five torture test. Think I can one up you though. There is this group on Disney called “The Doodlebops”. They make waterboarding seems like a day at the beach – a little annoying but oddly refreshing.
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