Bemused Embrace of Nihilism

Its the end of the world as we know it, and she looks FINE!

I’ve never really understood our cultural obsession with the Apocalypse. Why are we transfixed by the concept of end-o-da-world? Has the travesty of the Susan Boyle loss, shaken our belief in modern society to such an extent that we postulate that some zombie/ape/Morlock takeover would be preferable?

Look, I mean, I don’t really want to world to end. Some of my favorite people live there. Alright, I kind of want virtual worlds to end (My Second Life crisis et al) but that’s just because I had a bad experience in the 80’s – one piece of advice…..never cross Max Headrom.

However, this weekend, I had a moment of zenlike enlightenment.

TV is still my main source of intellectual stimulation, and I caught a little documentary like feature on our future post Apocalyptic world……Resident Evil: Extinction. And now, I too am psyched about this planet’s Apocalyptic potential!

You see, apparently the only people to survive the Apocalypse of some kind of zombie disease thing are 18-24 year old super models with pouty lips (luckily the demise of civilization did not reduce access to collagen). Actually, come to think of it, that is probably why most of the men are zombies – sort of like Hooters after a Raider game. Men stumbling awkwardly toward women way out of their league saying things like “ugh, me buy drink you for, ugh”. Of course being male could be considered a zombie like disease anyway.

This just in……biblical scholars now release a glaring mistranslation of ancient Hebrew text. It was really the four “hotties” of the apocalypse. Oh and the number of the beast is really 310 – the area code for Beverly Hills (that Spencer has some nerve).

But alas, all does not end well in this Hypereal depiction of days to come. The majority of the cast is quickly devoured by flesh eating mutants because of their lack of even an ounce of acting ability (pouty lips alone cannot help a plot move forward). Ok truthfully I don’t really know how the movie ends because my wife walked into my little dystopic wonderland, rolled her eyes, and turned the channel to HGTV, Landscapers Challenge.

Death by zombie with attractive scenery, or death by boredom via landscape design?

The Apocalypse just keeps looking better and better!