Bemused Embrace of Nihilism

GM  – Generally Melancholiness.

Yesterday we lost a Giant of American capitalist society. I giant WHAT, I’m not so sure.

To be fair…….wait a second, since when do I care about being fair? Being fair is for legitimate, objective journalistic organizations. You know, like Fox News. I cannot maintain such high ideals.

I write for the obnoxious, juvenile, sarcastic, sadistic minority. Meaning, I write for me – which may have something to do with the fact that more people have a passion for excel macros than visit my blog.

Ok, back to the subject de jour……GM – gesticulating madly.

Gone but not forgotten (trying to forget, but haven’t been able to kill those brain cells yet) it admittedly did leave a GM – Gigantic Mark, on our culture at large producing both Corvette Summer and Michael Moore. It deserves a completely inappropriate sendoff – and I’m as close to an expert on “inappropriate” as you’re going to get……therefore as established cultural critic Pink might say, lets get this party started.

One should  be careful of what you say in an Advertisement – its a retrospective sarcasm tree that’s ripe for da picken.

• “Chevrolet, the hearburn of America”. Hopefully Obama has a Alka Seltzer Plus Czar, who can prevent the diarea of America.
• “Dodge trucks are RAM (or is that lamb) tough.” Too bad they’re not Dave RAMsey tough, then they might have understood that for the law of supply and demand to work, there has to be “demand.” Of course, they may have been to large to implement a cash/envelope system – on the other hand it couldn’t have been worse than their own accounting approach.
• “Like a Rock, were as inflexible as can be, Like a Rock, the Japanese never got to me, Like a Rock, our business model’s a tree, Like a Rock.”

Switching (or is that grinding) gears, lets do a little historical revisionism on music. I must admit, this one is a little harsh. Its a good thing I have no sense of proportionality or empathy whatsoever.

• “I love you for your Repo’d Cadillac, two missing seats, pushing from back, stutters down the street, hiding from the girls, staying out of sight, applying for food stamps on a Saturday Night.”
• “Little dead Corvette, baby you lost your money too fast, little dead Corvette, you need a line of credit that’s gonna last.”

Ok, for one second lets pause from this GM – Gothic Monstrosity of a post, and show some empathy where its deserved. Since apparently the whole state of Michigan is unemployed except for Kid Rock (he needs the money to cover Pamela Anderson’s pyschiatric expenses), my virtual heart (its better than the real thing, trust me) goes out to you.

Look on the bright side. Working sucks. It just does.  Its supposed to. Silly people for years have been trying to convince us plebians that its fun, that it defines who we are, that you should take pride in your consumption forced labor prison – they’re just as worthless as, well, GM.

I’ll be honest with you – I think you’re awesome! You laugh at inappropriate jokes – including mine (hopefully), you can’t stand your inlaws (no point in pretending) and, most likely, if you have stumbled upon this blog, you have the capacity for independent, irrational, sarcastic thinking. That’s far more than GM – Gelatinous Mass can ever claim.

I would encourage you to GM – Go Merrily on your way – its better than the assembly line. Or maybe GM – Get Mad. Sometimes that’s the only way to change the GM – Gynormous Mess that corporate America has left us and our children, like a gift wrapped present from Pat Boone.

And getting mad could be a cure for heartburn. You never know.