Bemused Embrace of Nihilism

Maverick, you give and you give and you give.

An accomplished thespian who showed tremendous depth in character portrayal in theatrical masterpieces such as Days of Thunder (where he played a cocky, young, dashing race car driver) to Top Gun (where he played a cocky, young, dashing fighter pilot) and Mission Impossible (where he played a cocky, “moderately” young, dashing secret agent – that one was a stretch).

Such offerings on the alter of “thinking not required” entertainment for an extensive audience who identify with Forest Gump, would seem more than sufficient for the average cultural philanthropist. But not for Tom. Just because his name is Cruise, doesn’t mean he’s not willing to take it up a notch.

He’s given hope to closeted couch jumpers everywhere. For those wanting to ruin their public persona, he’s provided a roadmap, a guidebook to embracing ridicule.

And of course, almost singlehandedly shown us the way in regards to Psychology and Psychiatry of which he is clearly an expert. He accurately described this silly mirage of book lernin folks to be…..a fake science.

And immediately it was no longer taught in Malibu public schools.

Ok, most of what I have just written could be interpreted as sarcastic (catch that, everything I have ever written could be interpreted as sarcastic) but, on occassion, real life might actually catch up with the thought process of the man whose Business is so Risky. I stumbled upon such an instance recently……and I have named it thus…..

The Monkey Suit Hyothesis.

You see apparently there was a psychology experiment set up where the target of the prank……I mean subject of the experiment (ever notice how closely most psychology experiments resemble a practical joke) is asked to examine a dodgeball type game and count the number of times the ball is passed back and forth by the different teams, one in green and one in white. About midway through the experiment, a “Guy in a Monkey Suit” runs through the game with the requisite “ooh ooh ahh ahh” and chest pounding, then quickly disappears from screen.

Of course, the point of the experiment is…….wait a second. Who cares what the point of the experiment is? Did you really convince someone to dress up in a Gorilla costume ala Trading Places, convince him to act like an imbecile, all in the name of science? Was the distinguished professor “Benny Hill” your mentor? Does your next experiment focus on two guys in a donkey outfit?

And thus, my hypothesis…..if your method of scientific inquiry requires a Monkey costume and/or resembles a Yo Gabba Gabba plot, you’re not just a fake scientist, your an embarrassing one.

AND, you are awarded extra demerits for forcing me to agree with Jerry Maguire on something. Don’t ride into that danger zone!